How Much More?
It is taking all the the energy that anxiety hasn’t stolen to keep fighting but how much longer can I go on? The ups and downs are pulling me into depression. The thought of lost time add to it. I am a prisoner, locked inside my own body, with a life sentence. What powers us to go on? How do we pull ourselves out of bed each morning to fight another day? How many more days will I lose locked inside? The buzzing in my head, the weakness in my legs, the feeling of fear in my stomach, I can’t face it much more.
August 20th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
There is hope. I’ve learned how to live with the very illness you speak of. I’ve had the same symptoms, and still feel them at times, but I am not the caged insane life dreading person i once was. Not only am I no longer scared of death, I am no longer scared of life.
My recovery has transpired over the last 15 years. It is part of who I am and I am not ashamed of it any longer. It has taken me patience, trust, proper coping skills, positive thoughts, and open communication of my feelings to make it to where I am today. I don’t have all the answers, but I have hope.
I’ve witnessed firsthand that you are amazing at anything you put your mind to, so I know you’ll come out on top. We all have good days and we all have bad days - we would not have the good without the bad.
August 21st, 2009 at 10:07 am
Hang in there. I struggle with the same issues as you and as the previous commenter said, sometimes you’ll have good days and others bad. Just keep on fighting. Anytime you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. My e-mail addy is on my web site.
September 1st, 2009 at 7:46 am
Thanks Matsin and Laura
September 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I am so excited that I found your blog. I am on the internet trying to find someone who understands! I’m also waiting for my heart to stop working (that is my hypochondria working!) When I read your about me section I felt like I had to make sure it wasn’t me who wrote that! I find a lot of blogs about anxiety in general but never found someone with hypochondria like me along with the anxiety. I am not glad you have this, but glad I found someone I can relate too! I will be a regular here, and it has also inspired me to maybe start journaling my days inside my worry-stricken mind….thank you again for being brave enough to put yourself out there. ~Valerie
September 7th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Hi Valerie, thank you so much for stopping by. I found that writing, either here or in a private journal, has helped me a ton. It helps to just get all your thoughts down and its also a great resource when you are feeling down to go back and read and see that everyday isn’t always the worst day ever and that you are in fact making progress, however slow.
Please stop by and share your thoughts anytime, I know how great it feels to find someone like you, you feel a little less alone in this madness.
July 20th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
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